That Funny Feeling
I was chatting with a friend via text yesterday after I alerted her to the fact that retired New Democrat MP and preeminent Canadian crank (complimentary) Charlie Angus has anointed us all the Canadian Taliban. Sure, what the hell. I wonder if they have tactical sun hats for people, like me, suffering from Big Irish Head Syndrome, or if I should get my own?
Anyway, my friend articulated something I've been sensing over the last few days but hadn't yet put into words: right now it feels like pre-lockdown COVID. When we, here in North America, were watching people get sick and die in Asia and then Australia and then into Europe. And The News was still like, "Damn, that's crazy, look at this virus and the way it's spreading. Anyway, here's a viral clip of Ricky Gervais being a dick on The Golden Globes, the NHL standings and something weird the President of the United States said today. And now, the weather.
And everyone went about their days going to work and shopping and taking their kids to that thing – some with a nagging sense of dread, others deciding it was probably not that big a deal – until they couldn't anymore. Until we couldn't anymore. I still have my March 2020 bus pass in a little shoe pocket by the back door, it's the last one I ever bought. There was almost nobody on the bus or in the office that day, no line at Starbucks, empty sidewalks, and nobody said anything ahead of time that I know of. Around 2pm my boss stuck her head in my cubicle and advised in hushed tones, "You should probably go home, take your laptop." I felt strangely relived that something was finally happening, credence from an authority figure for the gnawing sensations in my stomach.
My favourite website, Welcome To Hell World – the internet's premier home for middle-aged people who used to go to punk shows and do drugs but are now mostly into writing and books – posted a dispatch from a Montreal dad trying to make sense of the current moment.
Maybe I’m being cynical, but if it’s not the U.S. military that rolls in here it’ll be ICE or CBP or DEA or whoever the fuck. I treat the videos coming out of Minneapolis as psychic inoculation against what's likely coming. All around the world we’re learning from each other, fast, a process that’s especially visceral when the occupied people you're learning from look like you, live like you – snow and ice and resilience – and even sound like you.
I ordered some water purification tablets online yesterday afternoon. We're on city water but technically in a flood zone not too far from the river, so they're good to have on hand regardless, right? I'm probably going to pick up a few extra cans of ready-to-heat soup and beans and Chef Boyardee when I get groceries this weekend, and probably extra cat food and crackers. That's good to have in case of a snowstorm or power outage or whatever, right? That winter storm the size of America might make its way up here, they don't know yet. A big thing of store brand Advil. I don't think we used the BBQ at all last summer, I wonder how much propane we have. Probably like half a tank?
OK, cool. Get some rest.
